To be honest, it is currently 3:31AM.
I have been awake for an hour already andI’m beginning to truly believe I might actually have sleeping problems. But on mornings like these I am overcome with the need to paint or draw or SOMETHING, so it’s not so hard for me to get out of bed at all hours of the night just to get this urge OUT!
And yesterday I feel like I had a small awakening – it was a rather (extremely) boring day at work. Sitting at the smokepit on a lazy gray Monday, it seemed that all I had to say was ‘I can’t wait to Friday.’
I can’t wait ’till Friday!
How sad is that? That every Monday, the beginning of every new week for the majority of my young adult life the only thing I can think of is when the week is going to end. I wonder how much time we spend coasting through five out of seven days, waiting for the two and a half days we can do whatever we want? How much time is that wasted, really?
So I sat there and, of course, had to post a status update about it on Facebook. Thing is, I don’t want to always be waiting for Friday. Maybe my job isn’t the most exciting thing in the world, but I at least want to make the most out of my day when I can. I at least want to come home and get things done and do something more than acknowledge how tired I am, watch Netflix, doodle a bit, and then go to sleep.
I’m always telling myself how I want to start making “more serious” pieces of artwork – things I have to work hard on, that don’t come easy, and that will take me days to finish, but I know will be worth it when I finally do.
My status was something along the lines of ‘I need to as myself what I can do to make my days worthwhile. I’m tired of waiting for the weekend to be somewhat happy. I’m going to paint with the door open tonight.’
It sounds silly, but that action alone, “voicing” my intent for everyone to see on Facebook, made me feel like I was more accountable to actually get it done.
At first it was hard. My thoughts were battered with the usual ‘ohh I don’t now what to drawww’ and ‘ohhh, oil paints are too much of a bother to get them all out and set everything up’
But then I was like… no bump that! I want to paint and I KNOW it’s going to make me feel good when I do, so dammit I’m going to paint!
Starting is always the hard part. But, boy…once I did I was on cloud 9. And now I find myself so excited to wake up this morning that I’m here still typing at 3:43AM, knowing that once I’m done, my painting is waiting for me, calling for me, to get some work done.